Happy…
As this little lady celebrated her 8th birthday!
Bailey was treated to yummy snacks and now has
her own Lamb Chop to snuggle!
(If you missed the story of how Bailey came to the farm, you can read it here: Bailey. Oh my, how I absolutely love her sweet and gentle personality.
Sad…
We lost TinkerBell…she arrived at the farm nearly 18 years ago when she simply strolled out of the cornfield and decided to stay.
The absolute Mom of the crew, she was in charge of all the barn cats. And with a tender heart, when our goat Glowbug became ill, she was right beside him, being “Mom.”
She stayed smallish, like a kitten, and was oh-so patient during some silly summertime fun!
We will truly miss her.
We will truly miss her.
Mad…
Ok, this may be where you’d like to stop reading. It involves mild ranting, considerable irritation, and absolute disbelief.
However; if you’re still here, I would greatly appreciate some input from you...women who are wiser than me.
The million dollar questions:
What has happened to good, old-fashioned common courtesy?
Where is the time-honored sense of community?
I’m sure there was a time when looking after one another was a way of life.
Here are some examples of the things I am absolutely confused by.
-How many times must I have the door in front of me, that someone has just passed through, closed in my face? How hard is it to hold the door open for the person behind you?
-Right after my daughter was born, my father-in-law had open-heart surgery, and my mother-in-law broke her ankle stepping off a sidewalk. They came here to rest and recuperate. I believe my daughter was two weeks old…how wonderful it would’ve been to have someone/anyone bring meals. One less thing I would have had to worry about while surviving on very little sleep.
-Several years ago a lady moved here from across the country, I brought her a pie to welcome her to our hometown. She looked at me as if I had two heads. Surprise? Gratitude? Nah, neither one describes the look that was on her face. Golly, it's okay if you don’t like pie, toss it in the trash, but at least say thank you.
-Not long ago someone mentioned I was losing weight, and then asked:
"Are you taking pills?" Wow, um, no...I'm just spending more time at the Y.
So, goodness gracious, maybe it’s me.
I am neither outgoing, nor a social butterfly. I'm rather quiet and reserved…often those characteristics are seen as aloof. Hmmm, do I have an RBF? Not intentionally...that face is just me. Listening to whatever is being said, taking it in, thinking about it.
As Mark Twain said:
“It is better to keep your mouth closed
and let people think you are a fool,
then to open your mouth
and remove all doubt.”
Maybe, it’s how I was raised – in the country, by my grandmother…a different place and time.
Maybe, it's modern technology and fast-paced lifestyles. No time to smell the roses, as they say.
Maybe, it's because today everyone's in a hurry, moving past the moment they're in, making plans and thinking about what's next.
Or just maybe, I was born in the wrong era.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Tinkerbell was a nurturer and we can use a lot more of that in this world.
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday, Bailey! What a sweet girl you are and you bring your momma so much joy!
I understand your frustration. All we can do is serve as an example and be true to our own inner moral compass. Send love and light out whenever you can. For example, whenever I pass a school bus, ambulance, fire truck or police car, I say to myself, "May God bless and keep you". This way I am sending out positive energy for the best possible outcome. I have lost much of my positive outlook over the last couple of years, but I try to remember that God wants us to be happy and fully ourselves, in whatever way that may show itself. Hang in there, friend. It's all temporary.
Hi Daisy - you are so right, and have a better mindset than I do. Yes, be an example and follow our hearts...no matter what the response may be. A positive outlook can be hard to hang onto, I completely understand. Right now I'm working to build a life that makes my heart happy...and you and I both know gardening plays such an important part in that! Thank you for all you do to inspire me...and what an example...sending out kind thoughts to those serving others. So happy to have found you!
DeleteBTW-I'm not cool enough to know what RBF is...;0P
ReplyDeleteOh you’re plenty COOL Daisy! It’s not a nice thing - RBF - I’ll give you the first and third words - you can imagine the middle I’m sure. Resting B Face. :(
DeleteOh, Sweet Friend. First of all, Happy Birthday to the pup! And I am so sorry for your loss of precious Tinkerbell. What a perfect name for that sweet face. I know your heart is hurting. So, I am sending a hug. And no. It is not you. And it is not me. It is indeed the loss of common courtesy, community, and good old manners. The pie? Same exact thing happened to me. My mom taught me to welcome people to the neighborhood. Do you know we have lived here a year now, and not one person has introduced themselves, let alone brought a pie, or cookies, or a freakin brownie! What we can do, I think, is persist in our beliefs and raise our children up to carry on the acts of kindness we believe in. If you were born in the wrong era, my friend, I am your neighbor there! Come on over for coffee!
ReplyDeleteBillie Jo, I appreciate your kind words. We are so similar...when we moved here from a suburb I so expected neighbors to swing by and say welcome...a good, old-fashioned country courtesy. No, nothing...while I do it, because it seems like the right thing to do, I have lost the spark to continue. Oh friend, I would bring you a brownie! We would sit on the porch, enjoy them, and catch up on all the latest news and neighborhood gossip ;) But you're so right...persist in our beliefs, that's the right thing to do. Thanks for your example...truly.
DeleteHappy Birthday Bailey!!! I'm glad you were properly spoiled and pampered! And my heart hurts for you and the loss of sweet Tinkerbell. What a precious soul she was. The photo of her and Glowbug is so very sweet. I had a cat name Tinkerbell... He was the very first cat ever that my parents (begrudgingly) allowed me to keep in the house. (We lived on a farm and animals were kept outside. (There is a Christmas story that goes with him...for another time). But I'm glad your Tinkerbell had such a long life and such a perfect home. As for the "mad"....you know well how I feel on this subject...Billie Jo stated things well. Like you, I'm not an extrovert...I lean heavily to the recluse side actually LOL. But I don't think that has absolutely anything to do with anything. It is an erosion of our society and culture...and, truth be told, basic tenants of humanity. I've lived in the same place for 36 years. While I don't know all (even most) of my neighbors - even those who lived here as long as I have - I have tried to carry on the tradition of bringing a casserole (or, at times, an entire meal) when I've heard of someone's mother/step-father, etc. But, frankly, I've given up...and thus I'm contributing to the wrong, I suppose. My hermit lifestyle means I seldom hear of "happenings" until well after the fact but, I think it's more of the "hurt." Several years ago, my husband was hospitalized and given little chance of recovering or returning home (he did, eventually, but never the same)....No one reached out to my son and I other than one neighbor who plowed our driveway one time. Years later, I lost my beloved soul dog...two months later my mother...just a year later, I lost my husband and during most of those years between I was completely alone. Again...radio silence. Did I need a casserole or pan of bars left on my porch? No. But it would have been appreciated more than the giver would have ever known. And this last blizzard? It left me completely stranded and house-bound for 3 days. My son came when roads were passable and plowed the driveway but could not get through the 5-ft drift covering my walk between the house and garage. We have a FB page for our small township and so I made a post asking for help (and, of course, offering to pay). Absolutely no response. Seriously? These are my neighbors? My sometimes friends? I lost so much hope those days. I doubt it will ever be recovered. I know giving up hope is wrong...and we should continue to "do unto others as we would have them do unto us"...but, dang...it's so very, very, hard. (So, talk about a long rant....so very sorry....)
ReplyDeleteI’m so sorry to hear of the apathy surrounding your neighbors. It is their loss, I’m quite sure. Hope you have a peaceful summer day. Your “neighbor” in NC. daisy
DeleteOh Robin, your words are wise, and I am so sorry for the hurt that comes from other peoples neglect and selfishness. Please, don't apologize. Oh my, we could talk for hours on this...so many similarities. My husband was hit by a semi last February...NO ONE offered to plow snow or help stack firewood. When he was in the ICU they called him...he couldn't take calls. You're so right...no casserole needed, but for goodness sake. YES...neighbors? "Friends" where were they? Several years ago we were battling with the propane company to deliver...they said they couldn't get the truck in the drive due to snow, we said, ridiculous...we can get in and out, but the battle continued. When the propane level got to 5% we shut off the furnace while continuing to argue...we had a contract (and no other company can deliver when the tank belongs to another company) Finally we started the ball rolling to change companies, which took time. During that time we went through 2-3 cords of wood trying to keep this old farmhouse warm (which it didn't). The neighbors knew...yet no invites for dinner to get out of the cold house for even a couple of hours. Now I've rambled on too long...yes, it is so very, very hard to hold onto that hope.
DeleteAh sorry for the passing of your ol’ feline friend. And I hear ya on the curtesy thing. I will say when we were moving in, a neighbor brought over meatloaf, a loaf of sourdough and salads. It was such a blessing. I think folks are so distracted anymore that they completely lose their filters and manners if they have any at all.
ReplyDeleteYes, distracted is spot on...it's a rush rush world these days. And that makes me smile! Yes, losing their manners...if they have any at all is SO true!!
DeleteMy dear friend. I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your gorgeous Tinkerbell. I hope you can take some comfort in that she had a wonderful loving home with you and your family.
ReplyDeleteHmmm...People! From what I've seen of your beautiful face, it is about as far removed from RB that you can possibly be. I don't understand this lack of manners at all. The only difference is that these days I am far less likely to tolerate such behaviours without commenting. In fact, I know that one of these days my mouth will land me in some sort of trouble :)
Oh Jules, yes "people!" Some day I will run away to the Dales and maybe the farm families there will be more kindly! Thank you for your kind words...and I fully support you in not tolerating the behavior without a reply. I think when a kind hearted person does respond, it takes people off guard, it's unexpected...just what they need. Oh no...you will land in no trouble at all. Speak your mind...we "quiet" ones need a voice!
DeleteHappy birthday to Baily!
ReplyDeleteSo very sorry about your loss of tinkerbell. Sounds like a life well lived.
During covid my neighbors delivered sweet boxes of cookies and home made tomato soup. I repair by slices of pie. But not much else has happened since then. I am as guilty as anyone of not reaching out. My daughter used to bake a tea cake for any new neighbors but got asked if it is gluten free?? Discouraging a young working mom so she stopped.
I do try to go out of my way to thank the bagger at the grocery store or the kid collecting carts in the parking lot. Kindness matters. I guess all we can do is keep being kind when others are not.
Cathy
Oh Cathy, what sweet neighbors to deliver goodies to you! I am so sorry it's not continued...and oh my, "gluten free" ... I understand allergies and food preferences, but there is such a better way to show gratitude that someone thought of you. Like the pie I offered, say thank you and then share the tea cake with a friend if there are concerns. Show appreciation for the time and effort that went into making the gift. I agree...a thank you to those working in the check out line or those taking a tongue-lashing behind the Starbucks counter need a word of encouragement...what a wonderful thing for you to do!
Delete